The X-Factor

Most of us have them, some of can’t stand them, and some of want them back. I’m talking about ex-boyfriends, and at some point we’ve all probably had that moment where we may have considered getting back with our ex. There’s nothing wrong with getting back with your ex, however it is necessary that you take the necessary steps in evaluating whether or not that’s a good idea. After all, he is your ex for a reason. When thinking about getting back with your ex there are certain deal breakers that should never be broken, such as any type of abuse. If you and your ex were in an abusive relationship while together, whether it is physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal, do not get back with them. They may say they’re going to change or say it will never happen again, but 9 times out of 10 he won’t change and you’ll find yourself in a cycle of misery. So whatever you do, stay away from those relationships because you deserve the best.

That being said, if abuse was not in your relationship, then the next step is to consider why the two of you broke up in the first place. Some couples think that missing each other like crazy is good enough reason to get back together. Unfortunately, that is absolutely wrong. If your ex wants you back, he needs to be able to state exactly why you broke up. He needs to be able to identify what the problems were and what the progression was from peace to peace out. Now, should he not want to discuss what went wrong, that is even more reason for you to stop considering the reconciliation. He obviously is showing you that he is immature and emotionally locked down.

If you both are ready to talk about what went wrong, then the next step is to see what are the necessary steps to making it right. Neither one of you should have total control as to what should happen next. Decision-making is a collaborative effort because it takes two to make a relationship. So, if the both of you have come to a mutual agreement and do not feel that you’re just doing this just to be with someone, then it may be all right to moving on to rebuilding the foundation of a healthy relationship. Be aware though that sometimes giving someone a second chance doesn’t mean they’ll get it right that time. It may be that person needs some more time to grow, and that has nothing to do with you. Accept what cannot be and move on to bigger and better things! Best wishes to you all.

By: Jessica Charles